How good leaders can become great using empathy
I recently read Tracy Brower’s excellent article entitled, Empathy is the most important leadership skill according to research from Forbes. Brower shares a new study of 889 employees by Catalyst that found empathy has some significant effects on the workplace.
Innovation. When people reported their leaders were empathetic, they were more likely to report they were able to be innovative—61% of employees compared to only 13% of employees with less empathetic leaders.
Engagement. 76% of people who experienced empathy from their leaders reported they were engaged compared with only 32% who experienced less empathy.
Retention. 57% of white women and 62% of women of color said they were unlikely to think of leaving their companies when they felt their life circumstances were respected and valued by their companies. However, when they didn’t feel that level of value or respect for their life circumstances, only 14% and 30% of white women and women of color respectively said they were unlikely to consider leaving.
Inclusivity. 50% of people with empathetic leaders reported their workplace was inclusive, compared with only 17% of those with less empathetic leadership.
Work-Life. When people felt their leaders were more empathetic, 86% reported they are able to navigate the demands of their work and life—successfully juggling their personal, family and work obligations. This is compared with 60% of those who perceived less empathy.
Empathy is the capacity to understand or feel what another person is experiencing from within their frame of reference, that is, the capacity to place oneself in another's position.
This means we need to put aside our differences at work (and outside of work). We also need to stop and think about where someone is coming from before replying to their email or Slack message. Perhaps we need not reply at all.
Sympathy vs Empathy
Empathy is often confused with sympathy. Sympathy is a feeling of pity or sorrow. Brené Brown references nursing scholar Theresa Wiseman's four attributes of empathy, which I discovered in Kate Thieda’s excellent article, Brené Brown on Empathy vs. Sympathy.
To be able to see the world as others see it—This requires putting your own "stuff" aside to see the situation through your loved one's eyes.
To be nonjudgmental—Judgement of another person's situation discounts the experience and is an attempt to protect ourselves from the pain of the situation.
To understand another person’s feelings—We have to be in touch with our own feelings in order to understand someone else's. Again, this requires putting your own "stuff" aside to focus on your loved one.
To communicate your understanding of that person’s feelings—Rather than saying, "At least you..." or "It could be worse..." try, "I've been there, and that really hurts," or (to quote an example from Brown), "It sounds like you are in a hard place now. Tell me more about it.”
What are the three types of empathy?
Psychologists Daniel Goleman and Paul Ekman break down the concept of empathy into the following three categories. I encourage you to read Justin Bariso’s full article, Here's How They Differ--and How You Can Develop Them All.
Cognitive empathy is the ability to understand how a person feels and what they might be thinking. Cognitive empathy makes us better communicators, because it helps us relay information in a way that best reaches the other person.
Emotional empathy (also known as affective empathy) is the ability to share the feelings of another person. Some have described it as "your pain in my heart." This type of empathy helps you build emotional connections with others.
Compassionate empathy (also known as empathic concern) goes beyond simply understanding others and sharing their feelings: it actually moves us to take action, to help however we can.
The best leaders can be nice by practicing empathy
Want to be nicer? Consider what the person is going through and put yourself in their shoes. Actively listen to what they are telling you. Connect what they are going through to something that has happened to you (keep this to yourself). Then take action by offering to help them with something specific. What can you do or offer to help?